21st Century Background Noise

I was listening to track 13 of P!nk’s ‘Greatest Hits… So Far!’: Sober and the line “The quiet scares me coz it screams the truth” made me think about the last time I just sat there in silence. I honestly cannot remember even one recent moment when I didn’t have music playing in the background or 20 people chatting away.

You would think with the amount of load shedding in South Africa and even here in Zim, I would at least be able to come up with one silly moment of silence! As it turns out, these power cuts are no match for our laptops increased battery life, not to mention 8G cell phones and IPods. At this rate, we don’t even need to rely on generators or inverters… Well, while I was wondering about my lack of silence my laptop battery indicated that it was ready to go to sleep so I figured I’d let it run down and enjoy the silence ~actually I was just too lazy to go upstairs to plug it in.

The peaceful serenity lasted a whole 80 seconds! Yeah, I am really that pathetic! I managed to hear a few birds tweet before my thoughts started running away with me and just as I was about to go off in a public thinking mood [that’s code for talking to myself out loud], I was interrupted by people…

Therefore, instead of sitting in silence, I am upstairs –plugged in my laptop- listening to the rest of ‘Greatest Hits… So Far!’ and writing down my thoughts. Instead of focusing on what my mind is trying to tell me, I’m laying it on you and hoping that I can put off dealing with the inner workings of me for a bit longer. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the quiet scares me and even though I’m not proud of it, I’m not sure I have the energy/courage/willingness/need to change it…

This isn’t exactly where I was expecting my thoughts to go… So I think I’ll just stop writing now, now that I’ve admitted how insanely screwed-up I am sometimes. Maybe I will try being comfortable in the silences a bit later but for now I’m just going to enjoy the 21st century background noise drowning out my intense fears.

Just a thought,

AM

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