Do you love him? Yes, I do

Here’s the last random thing I forgot I wrote: Do you love him?

*****

Do you love him? Yes, yes I do.

It’s so not like me, this isn’t what I do. I don’t do vulnerable yet I really love you

I’m not use to staring out the wind with tears in my eyes as you drive away

I’m not the kind of person who waits to hear what others has to say

When it comes to you every rule I ever had

Flies out the window with the notepad

I’m too scared of loving you this much but the alternative of loosing you is not even an option I can stomach

I try to eat but the food doesn’t really dull how much I miss you

I can’t explain it in words or even thoughts

I can’t pretend I don’t feel it and I don’t think I can tell you

I want to say that every time you go away I want to run in front of your car and jump on the hood screaming: don’t go!

But that won’t happen… I’m too guarded and protective

I want my thoughts to stay my own and sharing is a new concept to me

I’m scattered in thoughts and lost in emotions pulling me into 68 different directions

Maybe we should talk or maybe I should just smile quietly

Will you believe what you feel when I think of you or do you need me to say it out loud?

Do you need me to take your hand and say I love you or will that split second look be enough?

Can I hold your hand tightly while you sleep jerking every time you move just to make sure you won’t leave

I missed you before you even left and I cried inside when I couldn’t reach your hand

Happiness is not a big enough word for what I feel when you are around

I feel your arms around me when you’re not there and I wonder if you feel me too?

*****

Don’t know if any of you will even understand what I meant when I wrote it but hey, if I never show you, I’ll never know…

Sharing my view,

AM

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