All over again!

It’s been a while since I posted something. Partially because I’ve been writing things for my baby cousin instead and spent a little time telling the people in my life what I was thinking directly and not via social media.

It’s paid off. I’ve been having a bit of a hectic month. I’m looking for a new job; the place we were supposed to move to at the end of the month is no longer available so I desperately need a room to rent and my mother and her boyfriend are coming to visit in 2 weeks which is quite stressful. It’s not that I don’t love seeing my mother or that I don’t miss her, we just have a long history and as with all Virgo’s in my life I tend to get really stressed out in their presence. All of these crazy things were messing me up to the extent where I was withdrawing from the one person I love most in this world.

I was getting snippy and overreacting to everything JS was saying and it got to the point where I considered pretending to be asleep when he got home so that I wouldn’t have to talk to him. That sucks!!! So the other night he came home really really late and I was a bit sick so I was actually sleeping and he sat next to me on the bed and woke me up and said: “I’m sorry” At first I thought he meant sorry for waking me up, so I just said fine and turned around to continue sleeping but he gently tapped me on the shoulder and said it again: “I’m sorry” And I got it this time!

I can’t really explain how many feelings and emotions came rushing at me that very second but to be able to hug him and hold him and just have a whole conversation with one touch is something truly magical. Anyway, we talked and we said a lot of the things we were keeping bottled up while we were walking on eggshells and as it turns out we have the same fears and doubts. Now that it is out in the open it is so much easier to just be around each other again.

It’s like we get to stop being mad at the situation and focus on all the things we love about being together. This morning I woke up and I couldn’t stop smiling: no matter what! I just keep seeing him and it’s like I fall in love with him all over again every time I hear his voice or think of him. Being in love is amazing but falling in love with that one person you truly love all over again, is even better. We tend to get so distracted by all the crap in our lives that we forget about the amazing people we have to share this life with. 

No matter what life throws at you: You are not alone! It might feel like you are; you might not be able to see how much the people around you care but ultimately, they are still there. You are not alone, so don’t pretend to be. Don’t cut yourself off from the ones who love you, don’t bottle up your emotions, let it out…

 I’m a little out of practice with this whole sharing thing but basically it comes down to this: I love the people in my life and if I let them, they’ll love me too.

The end,

AM

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