Archive for May, 2011

Today I’m not okay

Remember that day, when you asked me if I was ok

I said I was fine and honestly I felt perfectly alive

But I said that the day would arrive

When I wasn’t alright and then I’d come to you

Well that’s today… Today I’m not ok

 

I just don’t know if I know what to say

In all fairness I should be fine today

Nothing really logical about all of this

Yet I can’t keep the tears inside

My emotions: a rollercoaster I’m too tired to ride

But it finds me anyway, nowhere left to hide

 

Remember that day, when you asked me if I was ok

I said I was fine and honestly I felt perfectly alive

But I said that the day would arrive

When I wasn’t alright and then I’d come to you

Well that’s today… Today I’m not ok

 

Don’t know how to get this conversation underway

It’s been so long since you asked me if I was ok

I’d like to pretend I don’t really mean this

Maybe if I ignore my feelings they’d recede

Suppress and depress seem to be on the same speed

Scribble thoughts, crush them and throw away the seed

 

Remember that day, when you asked me if I was ok

I said I was fine and honestly I felt perfectly alive

But I said that the day would arrive

When I wasn’t alright and then I’d come to you

Well that’s today… Today I’m not ok

 

I’d like to sit here and pretend everything’s just gay

Somehow my imagination won’t let me stay

Have to face my demons; to deal with this

Can’t do this on my own this time

Been holding my head above water as I mime

‘I need help’ but can’t seem to ask out of rhyme

 

Remember that day, when you asked me if I was ok

I said I was fine and honestly I felt perfectly alive

But I said that the day would arrive

When I wasn’t alright and then I’d come to you

Well that’s today… Today I’m not ok

 

The veil of sanity I created can’t veto the doom ray

Ready to lighten the load right where I lay

Must start somewhere and the score is this

Incapable of letting it slide any longer

Have to fight my battles and hope I’ll get stronger

Please take my hand and show me how to conquer

 

I need you today because today I’m not ok…

Don’t Lose Your Grip Zimbabwe

Those of you who are crazy enough to read my blog on a regular basis will know that I moved to Zimbabwe this year because I’ve loved the amazing culture of hope since I was 12 years old. You’ll also be aware of Don’t Lose Your Grip and our friend Lacey Crawford.

For those of you who might have missed it: Don’t Lose Your Grip is a charity concert and fashion show aimed at raising money [along with much needed awareness] for eating disorders, self injury (aka cutting aka self harm) and mental health issues such as depression. We’re relying on Musicians to volunteer their music for a good cause and to help us show that charity really doesn’t have to be boring. Our models are ALL normal people who want to help us promote positive body image or simply those who are recovering from / trying to live with an eating disorder. DLYG is aimed at ending the judgement and rebuilding self confidence.

We live in a tough world where you are criticized for believing in yourself and told you are a failure because your hair is the wrong colour or your figure doesn’t resemble Barbie or whatever the latest super model’s name is. In Milan this year, they were using MEN to model WOMEN’s clothes!!! So now we’re supposed to look like men in order to look attractive?! Come on!! This mess the media and our society has created over the ‘perfect image’ is not just leading to total confusion and terribly dangerous eating habits, it is also causing a lot of self hate and building on existing depression.

Cutting, eating disorders and suicide, very different symptoms of the same problem are gaining on us. The problems being alienation and depression; the symptoms: cutting and suicide. Personally I don’t know one single person who does not at least know of 2 such victims. This is a global problem and we are ALL affected! Chrisselle started DLYG because she’s tired of seeing her friends suffer in silence and feel so helpless that they take their own life. And so am I!!!

That is how DLYG Zimbabwe was born. This global problem of ours needs our attention right now! I know that Zimbabwe has a lot of other issues that some may say take precedence and to some extend I agree but that doesn’t mean we can ignore mental health and wellbeing. If we are dumb enough to ignore these problems right now, it will lead to devastating affects we, as a country, have no means to defend against.

Living with disrupted power supply; limited communication with the world outside Zimbabwe unless you use technology from down South; driving down roads where there are more potholes than actual tar left; looking at fields that use to be known as Africa’s breadbasket only to see wild flowers and dirt there instead of maize; walking into any shop in the country and seeing the face of The Man who has forgotten what the word ‘president’ means and being the last of your family still remaining in a country most of the world has written off can be very depressing!! You cannot honestly tell me that you are not saddened by what you see. But the amazing thing about Zimbabwe is its people! The hope that exists in their hearts is second to none! Zimbabwe is a rich country not by monetary standards but by heart!

So I urge all of you, to stand with me and acknowledge that you see the person standing next to you; that you see their suffering [depression]; that you see their cries for help [cutting, eating disorders] and that you help me raise awareness so we can help each other.

Keep your faith in humanity strong,

AM

Antidepressant Tips

This month (May) is Mental Health Month and as glad as I am for the opportunity to discuss these issues more openly, I wish we lived in a time where we didn’t need a month to remind us to be aware of those suffering in silence.

In honour of Mental Health awareness, I’ve been testing out a few anti depressant *tips*the last 10 days [and will continue to try out for the rest of the month]. These have all been accredited by varies medical research clinics and depression foundations but I would like to have a bit more proof. I’ll be sharing my experiences with you over on twitter. Here are the *tips*

  1. Get out more!

Firstly getting sun increases your body’s natural production of Vitamin D which in return lifts your mood. Also, a change of scenery might just do the trick and allow your mind a much needed break from all the worries of the world. Also, light regulates or body clocks so when it gets cold and dark early we go into hibernation mode and psychologically withdraw. Engaging with people should lift your mood and self esteem, which is why I’m organizing a dinner out with friends once a week, tea with friends twice a week and instead of watching the rugby at home, I’m making a day OUT of it.

  1. Eat more fish

Fish is rich in Omega 3 and according to a bunch of ‘almost vegetarians’ people who eat fish are much happier. So I’ll be giving it a go. My diet does not really have fish scheduled in it so it’s been a bit of a shock to my system so far but it does seem to be working [although we’re only on day 10 so let’s see if it lasts]. I’ve have some form of fish every second day of the month so far. Some of it was a whole meal, others were just a tuna sandwich and I’ve discovered this dried out tiny little fish thing that’s quite salty and I actually enjoy eating a lot and since it’s not something I have to prepare, just a snack, I think it works really well.

  1. Other diet changes

Vitamin D in eggs and oily fish increases serotonin (via www.galennaturopathic.com ) which lifts your mood. Mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes are rich in Folic Acid and Zink (via UK Mental Health Foundation) which improves the mood of depressed patients. Vitamin B for breakfast like oats increases serotonin production and again: it leads to good chemicals in your body. These are simple things most of us have in our diets anyway but it might be worth increasing when we feel those dark clouds headed towards us. Besides, it’s an action we can take and that in itself gives us back our power [and self confidence to some extend].

  1. Go old school

My grandmother never went to bed without her warm water bottle. I always just chocked it up to her arthritis or ‘just something grandmothers do’ but psychological research has shown that, like a teddy bear, using a hot water bottle is incredibly soothing to the soul. So when you feel alone or just need a hug and there isn’t anyone around to give it to you, hug your warm and cosy water bottle.

  1. Go on vacation

Negative ionizers act as antidepressants as it increases serotonin levels. These negative ionizers are naturally found in places like waterfalls, beaches and forests. This in itself is a great medical reason to go on holiday. Plus, you get to take a break from all the everyday stuff that piles up and leaves you feeling overwhelmed or depressed. However, not everyone can afford to go on holiday nor do we have the time. So if you are lucky enough to live close to any of these places, go for a daily walk or even a weekend camping trip. If you happen to live in the middle of nowhere, try listening to sounds from these places or flipping through photos of them, it might just relax you too.

  1. Exercise releases endorphins

Like most of us know: running or playing sports or basically any type of exercise has a way of lifting our spirits [along with our bum line]. Besides the fact that it gives you a reason to get out of bed and face the world, it also releases endorphins [like with chocolate] it helps us feel more confident, energized and enthusiastic. So try to get 40min to an hour of exercise in a day. Doing it with your friends or a partner tends to be more effective [in my opinion].

  1. Staring into a live fire

This is an interesting one! Apparently staring into a live fire for an hour will be calming. Since it’s still too hot here to sit by a fire every night, I’ve decided to do a little experiment. I’m watching a video of a live fire [with sparkling twitches and crackling mini-explosions included] on my laptop while I fall asleep. The aim is to test whether it is the CO2 levels of the fire that trick you into being drowsy leading you to believe you are relaxed or if it is the heat [like the water bottle] or if it simply the colours. It might also just be the lack of other distractions but I’ll test that with meditation at a later stage. Also a great excuse for a romantic evening [you can even include a meal of fish and mash followed by an evening stroll down to the beach] followed by an early morning [getting up with sunrise, going for a jog together and eating a breakfast rich in Vitamin B].

  1. Fresh flowers

Again something my grandmother took the time to do: fresh flowers in every room, every single day. Even though none of us really appreciated it back then, we still maintain that tradition, which might be why that house has some of the happiest memories of my childhood. It ties in really well with the belief that smells with happy memories attached to it will lift your mood. I’m taking the opportunity to go run outside in the rain [like I use to when I was little and care free] and also got my grandmother’s cook book and started cooking all those lovely smelling food that makes my mouth water while I smile remembering all those amazing memories attached to each meal.

  1. Add a little colour

Orange lifts depression and yellow brings optimism. So I’ve changed my curtains to yellow along with my bed linen and my pillow and duvet are both orange. I’m also attempting to wear something yellow or orange every second day… surprisingly I have a lot of items in those colours in my wardrobe. Granted, it sounds like a makeover from hell but I have to admit that is really does seem to be working, I love being in my room again and I feel oddly more confident in those colours than the usual blues and reds I tend to wear.

So these are the things I’ll be trying out along with the most important TIP when it comes to any mental illness [or disorder for that matter] which is: to talk about it! I know it’s hard and most of the time when you feel depressed you really don’t know why but taking an hour or two to acknowledge that you have emotions about something is vital! This will probably be one of the hardest *tips* for me to try but from experience I know how well it works. I’ve picked 5 really sad movies [including Pay It Forward, My Sister’s Keeper and The Ultimate Gift] and stocked up on some chocolates and tissues for those moments I want to cry but don’t know why. My theory is that by watching a sad movie, I subconsciously give myself permission to be sad and fall apart and eventually acknowledge my own feelings, without having to discuss it with someone.

I know discussion is key in ending the judgement and helping to change the stigma around depression, self harm and even suicide but sometimes you really don’t know how to express what you are feeling or thinking and it scares you. How can you expect someone to understand how you feel when you yourself have no clue? For me watching a movie and spending an hour crying has a way of either lifting my mood when the end credits start to play or at least allows my brain to bring those issues bugging me to the forefront so I can actively deal with them. Knowing what the problem is lifts a huge weight off my shoulders.

I have also found an amazing comfort in all of my twitter friends and the support group I have built there. It is wonderful to know that halfway around the world there is someone feeling the way I do and who really understands me, even when I don’t, because they have been there and they have gotten through it. If you’d like to join my amazing twitter family, you are welcome to @am_mf.

I would love to hear what you are doing for Mental Health Month so feel free to contact me either on twitter or by leaving a comment on here. Also, if you or anyone you know suffers from depression or have suicidal thoughts, you should check out the Don’t Lose Your Grip charity benefit and organization / support group or TWLOHA who deal with self injury [cutting].

Let’s end the stigma,

AM

Opinions

I’m a very open-minded person and I’m also an extremely opinionated person.

Everything I say, I can back up with stacks of facts and personal examples but I will always listen to your side of any argument because that is how information is shared and discussions are raised. Then you get people who are the exact opposite: they believe that the sun shines out their butt and everything they say is law! They even get really upset if you even think about disagreeing with what they say, yet they refuse to listen to reason at all. The last 4 days I was on a houseboat with one such person.

In all honesty it scares me to think that there are still people who are afraid of things they don’t understand… They are so terrified of maybe potentially being wrong that they’d rather stay in ignorance than have a civil conversation and discuss ideas. If we aren’t even willing to talk about everyday stuff or astrology openly how can we expect to tackle the bigger issues like mental health and eating disorders? How can we fight this constant need for approval from others or alienation and judgement when I have so much trouble just being honest with ourselves?

Don’t get me wrong: I get extremely defensive when I know that I’m wrong which is why ‘sorry’ is such a hard word for me to use but I’m always willing to listen and allow you to explain your view first, before I start breaking it down with the facts I already have in my head. Half the time you will even have me arguing your side just to ensure that by the end of the conversation we both make the most informed decision we can.

If you ever dislike my opinion about something, don’t be afraid to tell me! If however you are not willing to have your mind changed by my logic, you should tell me that too, so that I can state my opinion and just leave it at that. But I really would prefer that you believe in your opinion enough to stand by it and fight me for it. I’ll never walk away from the discussion, even if we have to pause it for  days or months and then continue, I’m ok with that… I’d rather discuss something openly than tip-toe around it resulting in underlined animosity. I won’t ever get mad at you for disagreeing with me. Don’t worry about offending me: the only thing that offends me is being called a baby or not respecting my opinion enough to share yours with me.

The value of a good discussion and the bonds created over it must not be underestimated. There is no point in having knowledge or experience if you are not willing to share those through your opinions.

As always sharing my view,

AM

Houseboat Tips

The last 4days I was on a houseboat with my mom and her boyfriend and a few other people I love spending time with, which is why I figured I’d share some tips and thoughts for any of you considering it at some point in the future.

The most important thing to remember is that whatever you don’t use, you can always bring back so it is a case of ‘better to take more than run out in the middle of a huge lake’. Secondly it is vital that you go with people you like! Don’t tempt yourself with the prospect of throwing them over board and feeding them to the crocodiles. If you have these two things under control, there’s nothing else you can’t fix any way.

Toilet paper and fresh water is pretty important; it’s also something most people tend to forget. Silly things like dish washing liquid and hand soap are also things usually left off the list. Plus spices and the basics like coffee and sugar have a way of slipping under the radar too. Try too plan everything food-related with as much detail as you can. Include snacks and the possibility of fish you caught yourself because you need to remember that there are no shops around the corner when you’re on a boat in the middle of nowhere.

If you’re food is all sorted, you can focus on the drinks. Personally asking me what I will want to drink or even eat in 3 days time is completely pointless as I’ll probably end up craving something else anyway. But generally if you take a variety of drinks and anticipate that you will want to give your taste buds something interesting every few hours, it’ll turn out great. In our case we had dietary requirements that needed to be looked after and other medical things we needed to plan for. As it turns out, our planning went down really well.

We did actually catch a lot fish and even had left over worms who kept trying to escape [and I can’t blame them] so we ended up with extra food we left for the captain and the cook as a courtesy to them. We also took a lot of vegetables because obviously we are all prone to eating high carb foods and way too many snacks when we are on holiday, leaving us quite sluggish but counteracting it with vegetables, water and fruit helped us maintain our energy and excitement throughout. If you’re going to a place like Kariba and you know the sun is on a mission to destroy you, best take vegetables like carrots that will increase your Vitamin A intake. Eating fish [high source of Omega 3] is also a great way to chemically perk things up and for our 4 day trip it was perfect for our 3rd dinner. We were already starting to think in terms of packing up and saddened by the end of our trip as well as starting to get slightly annoyed with the personality clashes accompanied by the confined area of the boat. After eating fish however, we were right back in the party mood.

With food and drink is out of the way, we can get to the serious packing! Basically, cameras are the only electronic device you will really be using. There is no signal on Kariba or at least very little and most of it is from the Zambia side so our roaming charges would have been sky high for extremely bad reception. As much as I love my laptop, a boat is really not the place for it and besides, you have nature and people around you which should take up all of your time. We did use a stereo but that was mainly to scare the baboons away and most houseboats have their own anyway. Mini torches and a spot light came in handy, since used them for wildlife watching and midnight bathroom trips that allowed us to go undetected by the many, many insects of the lake. Speaking of bugs: any anti-mosquito or insect repellent you might require, you’re going to have to take with you, just be sure to use eco friendly ones that won’t destroy the natural habitat. We used citronella oil based wrist bands and they worked really well. However we still slept under mosquito nets to keep the bigger moths away. Sunscreen cannot be emphasized enough! Remember that it is not the direct light from the sun that gets to you, it’s the reflection from the water that really burns you, so please take precautions and be safe.

Check with the owner of the boat about their cooler bags and fridge facilities as you need to keep in mind that you will be going out on the little speed boats too and may want smaller quantities of drinks to be taken with you. The great thing about taking drinks and food in cooler boxes is that you will have a place to put the fish you caught during your trip. You will also need to take your own fishing rods and nets, ext if the boat does not have any. Taking an umbrella for the smaller boat is a good idea but again it is wise to communicate with your captain ahead of time as they may have suitable ones available.

We also used the books available on the boat along with normal notebooks during our ‘alone time’ just too fully appreciate the great nature that surrounded us. We took an extra set of towels to use as our swimming towels and a few extra hats in case the original ones got wet or flew over board, a bit paranoid I agree but better safe than sorry. We each had one warm jacket and the rest of our clothes consisted mainly of T-Shirts and shorts as we spent more time in our bathing suits than anything else anyway. We each took a pair of boots or closed toe shoes so that we could go for walks on the islands and flip-flops to wear on deck but again, we hardly used it as we were mainly barefoot. They washed our clothes on the boat so we came back with clean laundry in our suitcases and could easily have stayed there much longer.

With all nature trips like these it really is about timing. There were other boats there that followed 3 hours behind us and didn’t see any of the animals we did, they even got caught in a storm. So if you want to make the most out of this trip, ask your captain for advice regularly, since he is constant communication with other boats and trust his experience. Make sure you know what each member of your party is expecting out of the trip and try your best to please [or even if you must: disappoint] them all equally. This will just avoid friction and decrease the chances of someone feeling like they got a raw deal. We saw animals and we went fishing and we got a tan, so everyone got what they wanted and even more than they expected.

Feel free to add any of your experiences or tips into the comments as I’m planning to go again shortly and probably missed a few things on this – my first trip.

Loving nature,

AM

Closing this chapter

It is no secret that I have some serious Virgo issues. The people I trust the most tend to be born under this sign and as a result they have more power to hurt me than anyone else. Maybe this is because my mother is a Virgo or maybe there really is an astrological explanation for it but right now I just want to close the chapter on one of them, just be sure that they’re not in my head any more so this post is a bit different and a bit more personal. It’s ‘because of you’ letter to my cousin.

Because of you my eyebrows annoy me when they are wet.

Because of your fearlessness of horses I am terrified of them.

Because of your incessant planning that rarely lead anywhere, I prefer being spontaneous and leaving things to the last minute.

Because of you I never did anything stupid like get involved with Satanism or skinning a cat.

Because of you I have never/ will never try drugs.

Because of you I prefer a group of friends rather than dating my entire high school.

Because of you I can’t sit underneath Oupa’s tree without crying.

Because of you I hate wearing hats.

Because of you and that moment when I was 3, I can’t show anyone the middle finger.

Because of you I hate origami.

Because of you I can multitask like crazy.

Because of you I think in English and not my first language.

Because of you I have friends I’ll never see again.

Because of you I can’t eat chocolate éclairs that I haven’t made myself.

Because of you I can’t drink out of a blue cup.

Because of you I spent a lot of years being really, really confused.

Because of you I am empathetic but unlike you I do it because I care not because I’m too scared of being honest with them.

Because of you I stopped caring.

Because of you I believed that I was worthless.

Because of you I doubted my choices.

Because of you there is no one I can talk to about my dad.

Because of you I don’t add family on Facebook anymore.

Because of you my life was paused for way too long.

Because of you I have trust issues.

Because of you I am not a fan of Easter.

Because of you I dislike both Gareth Gates and Will Young.

Because of you I still prefer Motorola above Nokia.

Because of you I have shoes in my closet I never wear.

Because of you I have to rebuild 19 years of confidence.

Because of you I have to find the person I once was but am afraid I might not like her.

Because of you I have a lot of work to do.

Because of you everything I say is being second guessed… by me!

Because of you I’m not sure how many of my choices were truly mine of based on a reaction to your choices.

Because of you I have cried myself asleep.

Because of time I am ready to move on and pretend that everything you said and everything you didn’t do hasn’t destroyed my. I’m willing to close this chapter in my life and if you want to still be part of my life, you are going to have to put in the work because every grain of credit you use to have has been made null in void.

That is all,

AM

Kariba Tweets

Hallo, my name is Aneléne and I am a Twitter addict. I spent the last few days on a houseboat and obviously had no internet connection or even cell phone reception so like a true Twitter addict, I wrote down all the things I would have tweeted had I been connected. Instead of spamming my stream with 60 Kariba tweets, I’m doing it on here instead. Sorry if some of it is a bit dull but those were just the times I really missed my twitter friends.

z  We’re eye level with crocks

z  “That bush isn’t moving” – my mom in really concerned voice

z  Good to know when Push comes to Shove my mom will push me out of the way and shove me down the crocodiles mouth #thanksmom

z  “If the world ended and we all had to live on boats forever it wouldn’t be too bad” “If we could live on this one” #thingsmymomsboyfriendsaid

z  *A good fisherman knows it’s not how deep you go but how you wiggle your worm* #twitterafterdark

z  Cage Jacuzzi

z  *while jumping from second deck of houseboat into crocodile invested waters* Hope I remember how to swim

z  “You don’t need anchors, just a tree” – captain

z  $50 just on ice! Imagine what the drinks cost

z  “I hope that elephant storms that boat” – my mom’s subtle anger towards random tourists

z  Oh, ok… my accent isn’t African enough #fuckyou

z  Hanging like a monkey from a houseboat in the middle of one of the world’s largest dams to get the score of a soccer match #goodkid

z  “Where are we?” –me “Facing North” – my mom’s boyfriend #thanksfornothing

v  How would you feel if I put a hook up your butt?! #fishing

v  Fish foul!

v  Catching shark bait #snack

v  My mom caught an awesome Tiger Fish… till it bit of the line

v  Is it a fish? Is it a crocodile? No… it’s a bird #weirdnature

v  “Alan, wake up! There’s a wild animal on board” *wakes up and listens* then says: “No, that’s just the captain” #snoring

v  “Bird calls are not your forte” bhahaha!

v  See which colour the hair is in the elephants tail #weirdnature

v  “Look! He’s smiling at me” – my mom an elephant eating leafs

v  “The islands use to be hills” #statingtheobvious

v  “The fish is out of water” *panic* “Ok, so we’re having him for lunch”

v  “Attract the elephant with fruit” “Throwing apples at him will not have good results”

v  “Crocodile!” “Where?” *everyone rushes to that side of the boat*

v  “Look at the little elephant” – mom “Where?” –me “I meant elephant” *disappointed*

v  Low blood sugar + crazy good zoom = blurred photos #wildlifephotography

v  Coffee, fishing, brunch, nap, fishing, snacks, dinner, coffee, sleep… and repeat

v  Mosquito nets are awesome and so are the glow in the dark mozzie arm bands

v  Go to sleep facing the water, wake up facing the bar :/ think my subconscious is trying to tell me something

v  Comparing wobbles with my mommy #buttjokes

v  You can see I’ve been out of the photography trade too long: I’d rather miss out on a good shot than miss out on a good memory

v  #ThatAwkwardMoment when you’re on a houseboat and realize your mother potty-trained you with running water

v  Dear diary, today I caught my first Tiger Fish… then I ate it #TheEnd

v  “The Sun is as big as your butt” #ThanksMom

v  Ice cube fight!

v  Like London only has 8 days of summer a year, Kariba only has 8 days of winter a year

  • People keep asking me if my mother got married again, don’t they realize I’m the last person she’d tell?
  • “There’s a hippo” “What hippo? I’m not a hippo” lol
  • The worms who planned their escape last night succumb to bug spray
  • “We are being followed by an unmanned boat” “Marie Celeste… Ahhh!”
  • I’m tanned… when it’s dark… and I don’t stand close to anyone else :/
  • #ThatAwkwardMoment when you think you’ve gotten a tan and then you take off your sunglasses
  • “I thought it was a crocodile… then it fell out of a tree” bhahaha
  • Question of the day: How long can a hippopotamus hold its breath under water
  • #ThatAwkwardMoment your hair is all windblown but you don’t want to fix it because people will realize you looked in the mirror and will expect you to make a habit out of it
  • When you brush your tangled hair and sound like a mongoose
  • When you get tired of waiting for them to bring your coffee and plan your verbal assault just for them to come upstairs with your coffee in hand
  • Just been chased by a little buffalo #WhenISayLittleIDontMeanLittle
  • My monkey-nastics has been rewarded with peanuts
  • Island welcoming committee aka MALE baboons
  • Checklist: Hippo, water tortuous, baboon, buffalo, crocodile, likkewaan, kudu, elephant and sunsets
  • Watching a baboon trying to fish without getting wet #hilarious
  • These fish are only good for cleaning hooks
  • It seems we are boring the baboons #yawn
  • “Being the only two baboons on the island must suck… if they have a fight they have no one to complain to” #SillyThingsSaidToday
  • “Put away your stick” “He’s trying to make a fire” “Wrong stick” #TwitterAfterDark
  • #HowToScareAway baboons: start laughing
  • Dear tourist who were here before us: DON’T LITTER #kthanks
  • I’m the quickest at baiting a hook with worms but refuse to do so as it is cruel #irony
  • Then again these worm’s escape tactics have only lead to hundreds of casualties… #RIP
  • Considering drugging our captain and playing pirate with his houseboat
  • My monkey-nastics to retrieve the results of a soccer match *again* is truly astonishing
  • There is something very filling about catching your own food #fishing
  • A starless sky in the middle of a huge lake is not as scary as I would have thought it to be
  • #ThatAwkwardMoment when you start catching fish with popcorn
  • I’m always the first to start packing…
  • #YouKnowMyMother is bored when she starts reading a book… without her glasses
  • #YouKnowMyMother is excited when she uses all 4 my nicknames in 1 sentence
  • #YouKnowMyMother is annoyed when she has 2 glasses in hand and isn’t drinking from either
  • #YouKnowMyMother is drunk when she starts thinking all arguments can be resolved by her finger-snapping-dance
  • Woken up by the splish splash of jumping fish
  • #ThatAwkwardMoment you realize that even when you stand on your toes, you are STILL too short
  • Spending more time complaining about something rather than taking 5 seconds to fix it #PeopleIDontGet
  • Build a bridge and get over it!
  • The shock when someone says ‘No’ to chocolate before breakfast
  • My all inclusive breakfast sandwiches are the best #JustSaying
  • “A day of waiting and being chased away has been rewarded with an apple” #apeantics
  • People who still don’t know how to read a gas pump #ish
  • Why did the monkey cross the road? Because his butt was warm #dontask
  • Long drive home is being interrupted by tourist pit stops
  • You really can hackle the price for everything… even change
  • #ThataAwkwardMoment you don’t realize you’ve crossed the border between #Zambia and #Zimbabwe
  • Vanilla Twilight by Owlcity is trending! Oh, wait… I can actually tweet that one

 

Yes, I did actually write them with hashtags! If you ever doubt that I love my twitter family just remember that I was on a boat with some of the most important people in my life and I still thought of all of you.

Much love,

AM