Archive for April, 2012

Small Town

12 days ago my boyfriend’s father was shot and killed in Ghana on a routine drive to the farm next door for a meeting. They were ambused and out of the 5 people in the vehicle the only one who died was Andre. He was shot in the back and died almost instantly.

When I got the news it was about 20 minutes after his family had heard. 20 minutes after that everyone in town started calling and asking questions and just seem to know about it so quickly. I was pretty annoyed with tsmall town life and the culture of gossip. I was also quite emotional over the actual event which hightened my frustration and lead to me saying out load in a very sarcastic tone: “You have to love small towns”.

The very next day people were calling and asking what they can do to help and offering up so much to help this family and support them during their hour of need. As I hung up the phone I said: “You have to love small towns” in a very sincere tone to which my friend pointed out that I had the exact opposite feeling the day before…

Ashley Brilliant once said: “My opinion may have changed but not the fact that I am right.” It may seem obnoxious and a little cocky on my part but both tones I used with the sentence above were completely valid at the time I said it and I reserve the right to say it in the same way again in the future. However, right now I’m willing to accept that everything has it’s silver lining. Yes gossip sucks but the support that came from it is overwhelming!

I want to thank every single one of you in Kadoma who have been supporting them and me. Thanks for being here and please continue to show your support for Andre’s family

xoxo

Uncle Bob & the Easter Bunny

So dear Uncle Bob is sick again… or rather: still.

 

What’s different this time? He’s set to hand over power to Mnangagwa. Well excuse me but do seriously still believe the elution that Mugabe is still in control? He hasn’t been in control in years… He has just been the escape goat!

 

I’m not saying anything new, actually I’m repeating myself… Look, he use to be a powerful leader who turned into a slightly scary power hungry leader but 5 years ago he turned into the poor sap you feel sorry for so can’t bear to boot him out. He’s been president for the last couple of years because his life literally depends on it. He hasn’t been calling the shots in a long time! He has a lot of other powerful people pulling his strings…

 

The scary part is that as soon as he eventually hands over power (which sadly I don’t think will happen any time soon) our guards will be down and the next eager-to-prove-they-are-in-control politician will swoop in and crush our newly built hope. I know this seems very pessimistic of me – and I’m not generally like that – but to be honest I’m scared. The evil we know and are aware off; who doesn’t need to prove anything and therefore won’t try to do something unpredictable or crazy; the old sap you sort of feel sorry for is a lot better than the current power houses that have been lurking in the shadows like hyenas just waiting to pounce on the lion king… I use to hate Mugabe, ask my 8th grade teachers they had to endure several speeches and poems involving this particular volt of anger. But he’s just the guy who managed to outlive all of his opponents and hopefully he’ll understand remorse someday… well, I said hopefully!

 

Since Uncle Bob is already back in the country and people are putting away their celebration decorations, maybe we can all get back to focusing on Independence Day next Wednesday. We celebrate independence from a first world country even though it has caused us more harm than good because we don’t want to diminish the lives of those lost in the war. But are we independent enough to stand up and make Zim the country we always believed it could be? Are we independent enough to support each other and not allow an 82 year old to ruin our day or our spirits? Are we independent enough to actually be nice and not get excited when someone is on their deathbed?

 

Well, maybe we’re not quite mature enough for independence…

The Day He Does

So this afternoon we got the news that my boyfriend’s dad had been shot and killed in Ghana… needles to say: we didn’t expect it.

He was just farming. Lending his expertise to a country that needs support. He had been to Afgan and never got so much as a scratch and goes to Ghana for 1month and… this.

What’s so chaotic about it is that half of the town new about it in less than 23 minutes!!! That’s small town Zimbabwe for you! However the plus side is this small comunity stands together like you won’t believe! So for him and his family I am glad.

As a girlfriend I’m just concerned… Whenever you lose someone you love and depend on it’s a huge shock to the system and no two event are ever the same. Not even the feelings experienced are the same and therefoor the reactions are unpredictable. For me loosing my dad was hard and telling the family (specially his parents) was tough and I paused my emotions in order to get through it. The trick is to set up a support system so that when you eventually allow yourself to fall apart, you have someone who can help you get back up.

For me it also took a while to realise that it was real. I occasioanly still have moments where I wake up and forget that he is gone. I think the moment it really became real for me was when I was driving in a car with my aunt listening to Joshua Tree and in the middle of one of my sentences I said ‘parentS’ and realized I would never be able to use that word in the present tense ever again… I just couldn’t… from now on it would have to be my mom. Full Stop.

The good thing is he has siblings so he’s not completely alone and he has someone else his mother could also lean on. But he keeps saying things like “I’ll eat when I’m hungry” I keep wanting to say: you won’t feel hungry for the next 2 weeks at least but you still need to eat. I wish I could take his pain away or show him how it will all be okay but all I can do is give him a hug and be there when he cries.

I just hope he remenbers that even if he doesn’t need me right now, I’ll still be there the day he does ❤