The Day He Does

So this afternoon we got the news that my boyfriend’s dad had been shot and killed in Ghana… needles to say: we didn’t expect it.

He was just farming. Lending his expertise to a country that needs support. He had been to Afgan and never got so much as a scratch and goes to Ghana for 1month and… this.

What’s so chaotic about it is that half of the town new about it in less than 23 minutes!!! That’s small town Zimbabwe for you! However the plus side is this small comunity stands together like you won’t believe! So for him and his family I am glad.

As a girlfriend I’m just concerned… Whenever you lose someone you love and depend on it’s a huge shock to the system and no two event are ever the same. Not even the feelings experienced are the same and therefoor the reactions are unpredictable. For me loosing my dad was hard and telling the family (specially his parents) was tough and I paused my emotions in order to get through it. The trick is to set up a support system so that when you eventually allow yourself to fall apart, you have someone who can help you get back up.

For me it also took a while to realise that it was real. I occasioanly still have moments where I wake up and forget that he is gone. I think the moment it really became real for me was when I was driving in a car with my aunt listening to Joshua Tree and in the middle of one of my sentences I said ‘parentS’ and realized I would never be able to use that word in the present tense ever again… I just couldn’t… from now on it would have to be my mom. Full Stop.

The good thing is he has siblings so he’s not completely alone and he has someone else his mother could also lean on. But he keeps saying things like “I’ll eat when I’m hungry” I keep wanting to say: you won’t feel hungry for the next 2 weeks at least but you still need to eat. I wish I could take his pain away or show him how it will all be okay but all I can do is give him a hug and be there when he cries.

I just hope he remenbers that even if he doesn’t need me right now, I’ll still be there the day he does ❤

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