Archive for July, 2013

Post #1

I use to write a lot. I guess that’s the worst part of depression (at least for me), no longer enjoying the things that use to make you happy. Not even wanting to try doing them anymore… Someone reminded me yesterday that I have the power – at the very least in my good days – to do the things I use to love. To make those things that I ‘use to do’ things I still do.

So here I am: a former writer who no longer knows if she can actually put a fully processed thought on paper any more… but I want to try! Like someone who has been on sabbatical or stuck with writers-block for years, I awkwardly spit out these words that might give me a glimpse into the inner workings of my mind… or maybe just a string of ramblings that will only make sense to me years from now… Who knows? What I do know is that I love words! I love the way my mind works, well most of the time that is. And if I could have one more opportunity to share my view with whoever is willing to listen or even just with that part of me that doesn’t always understand the rest of me, then I know it will be worth giving this a shot again.

So much has happened and yet nothing has changed. I still believe in the same 4 rules I made up for life when I was 5 years old and I still have all of the same experiences and thoughts of grandeur that will either lead me to tell my grandchildren a lot of almost-maybe-elaborated-stories or leave them with a legacy that they can be proud of. In the meantime, I just want to get back to a place where I am not afraid of what people think of me. Somewhere where I accept myself despite all of my many flaws and fears. Just a little corner in my mind that is free from the shadows that I use to keep others at bay….

So, for all intensive purposes, this is post number 1. And I’m sharing my view, feel free to share yours in the comments too.

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Fair Election

What is a fair election? Is it one where the winner is the one with the most votes or the one where everyone has a vote?

One would hope that in the 21st century everything would be equal and people would be free to do what they believed was right. And yet, here we are… elections around the corner. Very few people care… So many are willing to pretend that it does not exist… Most no longer believe that their vote counts… That their vote will even make a difference.

So how do you continue with your life ignoring something that could potentialy change the direction of your country? How do you continue to belive in a system that has failed you for so long? How do you risk being the one person who didn’t vote for the reigning president? How do you stand up and vote for the same person who has caused so much chaos in the country you love? How do you choose?

I don’t have an answer to any of these questions but I am finding it strange that everyone else are not asking these questions….

Just Another Teen Trying To Find Her Place In The World.

You can do this!

underneathmymask

Hey, can i first just ask everyone to get involved in my next blog post? All you have to do is write on a piece of paper or on your hand –
If you have got through something then right “I got through it”
If you are going through something write “I will get through this” or “I can do this!”, and email them to me so i can insert them into the next post – my email is – missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk or tweet them to me @Hidden_Beth

Please get involved!! And please share!
Something like this ..

webcam-toy-photo56
People ask me what i want to do with my life.. loads of thoughts go through my head, but really, my answer is.. i don’t know, and to be honest, i’m definitely not ready to go into the proper ‘big wide world’ yet.

The ‘big wide world’ seems such a scary place, so…

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You Matter

Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in all of the mundane things that make up our lives. And somewhere along the way, we start to forget who we are and the value we add to life. You start to loose little pieces of yourself… at first you don’t notice but one day you’re staring at your computer and you ask yourself “What’s the point?”

When you suffer from depression, this question is one you ask pretty much every day. And finding an answer isn’t always easy. But then again, easy doesn’t make for a very interesting life. So every day I focus on one #ReasonToSmile. just one little thing about the day that is completely me and makes me smile… even just for a while. Whether it’s drinking chai tea out of my favorite mug or playing fetch with my overly ball upsessed dog or watching my favorite 90’s TV shoew re runs… it may not seem like much but when the rest of your day is filled with dispair, that one little moment is everything…

Like all things, if you do them repeatedly they become habit and feel more natural, so eventually these little moments of happiness becomes normal again. These little moments all make up the little peices of you that matter. As long as you keep reminding yourself of what makes you happy – even if it is just for a minute – you will never loose yourself completely.

If any ever tries to convince you that you are not worthy of happiness, know that they are wrong! You matter! Noo one can tell you otherwise, not even that little voice inside of you… We are own biggest critics but we can fight back against the mean things we think about ourselves and change the voices in our heads to make them like us instead (best line ever written in a song paraphrased!) You deserve to be happy!