Post #1

I use to write a lot. I guess that’s the worst part of depression (at least for me), no longer enjoying the things that use to make you happy. Not even wanting to try doing them anymore… Someone reminded me yesterday that I have the power – at the very least in my good days – to do the things I use to love. To make those things that I ‘use to do’ things I still do.

So here I am: a former writer who no longer knows if she can actually put a fully processed thought on paper any more… but I want to try! Like someone who has been on sabbatical or stuck with writers-block for years, I awkwardly spit out these words that might give me a glimpse into the inner workings of my mind… or maybe just a string of ramblings that will only make sense to me years from now… Who knows? What I do know is that I love words! I love the way my mind works, well most of the time that is. And if I could have one more opportunity to share my view with whoever is willing to listen or even just with that part of me that doesn’t always understand the rest of me, then I know it will be worth giving this a shot again.

So much has happened and yet nothing has changed. I still believe in the same 4 rules I made up for life when I was 5 years old and I still have all of the same experiences and thoughts of grandeur that will either lead me to tell my grandchildren a lot of almost-maybe-elaborated-stories or leave them with a legacy that they can be proud of. In the meantime, I just want to get back to a place where I am not afraid of what people think of me. Somewhere where I accept myself despite all of my many flaws and fears. Just a little corner in my mind that is free from the shadows that I use to keep others at bay….

So, for all intensive purposes, this is post number 1. And I’m sharing my view, feel free to share yours in the comments too.

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