Posts Tagged ‘lyrics’

Pieces That Don’t Fit

This is the last of our ‘By the fire’ ramblings I’ll be posting. We all feel like the world crumbles down around us but when you spend some time with true friends, you’re reminded how brilliant life is despite all the confusion.

*****

I need a moment … just one moment

To reflect on me. To cut through the bullshit.

And see my face. Person staring back at me is a phantom

Never saw those dark eyes before

Where did they come from? What did I dissolve into?

 

Tossing and turning, dreams that just won’t stop

Decoding my emotions, why are there no instructions?

If I could only wake up to see the dawn

Everything I overheard, just pieces that don’t fit

 

I need a moment… just one moment

To reflect on me. To cut through the bullshit.

And see my face. Person staring back at me is a phantom

Never saw those dark eyes before

Where did I come from? What am I dissolving into?

 

Ducking under the covers, burry my head in a corner

Wishing I could remember or at least forget.

Stuck in limbo, fighting with my pillow

Touching on the truth but not quite there, yet

 

I need a moment … just one moment

To reflect on me. To cut through the bullshit.

And see my face. Person staring back at me is a phantom

Never saw those dark eyes before

How long will they stay with me? What will I dissolve into?

 

Kicking off the duvet, borrow my teddy’s courage

Don’t know anymore than yesterday. I’m still me

Maybe it doesn’t matter, coz I can’t let it. I won’t let it

It’s the smell of success that trumps the stench of doubt

 

I’ll take a moment… just one moment

To reflect on me. To cut through the bullshit. (Be honest)

And see my face. Person staring back at me is just me

Never saw through those deep eyes before

When did I become so tall? Let the puzzle dissolve too

 

It’s the pieces that don’t fit

That makes life worth the effort….

It’s worth the effort…

I’m worth the effort

*****

Thank you guys for sharing this weekend with me. The lack of sleep was totally worth it! You’re the best!

Keep the faith

Obviously being friends means that we’re constantly giving each other advice. This little thing is about how that advice isn’t always easy to accept or take, no matter how well you intend it.

*****

We all have choices

But I fail to see the truth in that phrase

In moments like these everyone spews

They give their two cents and a little bit more

Telling us about the greater plan

‘Keep faith’ ‘All will be revealed’

 

What if I fail miserably?

What if I’m just not strong enough?

What if I let you down?

Shouldn’t living be simple?

Shouldn’t life be grand?

 

We all have choices

It’s such an empty phrase

Right now I fear my choice has been made

You say you understand but you really can’t

Stop playing wise-men; I’m not listening when you say

‘Keep faith’ ‘All will be revealed’

 

What if I just don’t want to?

What if everything will be different?

What if I turn my back on you?

Shouldn’t living have more options?

Shouldn’t life be sacred?

 

We all have choices

I question the truth in that phrase

Today I see their expressed sorrows

Their offer to help is like a slap in the face

Wanting to fix it all by myself

‘Keep faith’ ‘All will be revealed’

 

What if I can’t do it?

What if I want to run instead?

What if I let you down?

Shouldn’t things be clearer?

Shouldn’t life make sense?

 

We all have choices

Analyzing the truth in that phrase

In the hardest of times we need to come together

Don’t need to talk in proverbs

Just be there and share the prayers

‘Keep faith’ ‘All will be revealed’

 

Maybe it takes a little longer

Maybe my plans have to change

Maybe you know better

Maybe living is enough

Maybe life gets better

 

We all have choices

Remembering the truth in that phrase

My true strength comes out today

All of you did your part to get me here

Thank you for being stronger

‘Keep faith’ ‘All will be revealed’

 

So what if I fail

So what if it’s different

So what as long as you love me

So what if things could be clearer

So what! Coz life will get better

*****

Still

A few of my friends and I had a girls-night that turned into a girls weekend and even though we had loads of fun, we also took time to reflect on recent events and somewhere around 2am, just sitting outside by the fire, we wrote down a few things. This is one of them…

*****

Not in the mood to really talk about it

Just wanna lie here and die

Torn into a million pieces

How long can I still cry?

 

You let me go and I’m still falling

Still in silence; lying still

Still still; so still

 

Never noticed the noise in the distance

Draw the curtains, just to see the wall

Inside my castle, rather a dungeon

Embraced by darkness

 

You let me go and I’m still falling

Still in silence; lying still

Still still; so still

 

All this anger, totally wasted

Hugging my pillow, looking for warmth

Alone on my island of feathers and springs

Can you see my SOS?

 

You let me go and I’m still falling

Still in silence; lying still

Still still; so still

 

Touching the ceiling I can’t break through

The height is hasty my teddies will catch me

Plummet to the earth as it shock me

Time to wake up and face the world

 

You let me go and I’m still falling

Still in silence; lying still

Still still; so still

 

Whisper through the silence and scream through the darkness…

*****

Stuck in the aftermath

I’m having a weird day of missing my cousin and hating her at the same time… That’s actually a pretty big deal, since I don’t hate~ it wastes way too much energy! And we use to be great together… Anyway, this is just how I feel about the person I use to respect more than anything else in the entire world.

Stuck in the aftermath:

*****

Flipping through old images of us

I forgot how beautiful you are

Blame the ugliness between us

Maybe it’s time to heal this scar

 

Said some things I’m sure I meant

Don’t remember the exact event

Would apologize if I had the guts

But I might just act even more nuts

So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath

Love turned into a wordy blood bath

 

Whatever it is you said hit a bull’s-eye

Wanted to shove you down the stairs

Wished I could just give up and say die

Maybe you were testing who cares

 

Said some things I’m sure I meant

Don’t remember the exact event

Would apologize if I had the guts

But I might just act even more nuts

So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath

Love turned into a wordy blood bath

 

I’d love to hug you and talk again

Just can’t seem to remember why

Why it was fun walking in the rain?

Maybe it was our way to say goodbye

 

Said some things I’m sure I meant

Don’t remember the exact event

Would apologize if I had the guts

But I might just act even more nuts

So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath

Love turned into a wordy blood bath

 

Our passion was just too intense

I’m sure we use to be friends

It just doesn’t make any sense

Maybe this was the way it ends

 

Said some things I’m sure I meant

Don’t remember the exact event

Would apologize if I had the guts

But I might just act even more nuts

So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath

Love turned into a wordy blood bath

 

Should I forgive and forget you?

Do you even think about me at all?

Will you apologize as courtesy too?

Maybe I’m not ready for this wall to fall

*****

AM

Moving Forward

I’m having a weird day of missing my cousin and hating her at the same time… That’s actually a pretty big deal, since I don’t hate~ it wastes way too much energy! And we use to be great together… Anyway, this is just how I feel about the person I use to respect more than anything else in the entire world.


 


Stuck in the aftermath:


*****


Flipping through old images of us


I forgot how beautiful you are


Blame the ugliness between us


Maybe it’s time to heal this scar


 


Said some things I’m sure I meant


Don’t remember the exact event


Would apologize if I had the guts


But I might just act even more nuts


So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath


Love turned into a wordy blood bath


 


Whatever it is you said hit a bull’s-eye


Wanted to shove you down the stairs


Wished I could just give up and say die


Maybe you were testing who cares


 


Said some things I’m sure I meant


Don’t remember the exact event


Would apologize if I had the guts


But I might just act even more nuts


So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath


Love turned into a wordy blood bath


 


I’d love to hug you and talk again


Just can’t seem to remember why


Why it was fun walking in the rain?


Maybe it was our way to say goodbye


 


Said some things I’m sure I meant


Don’t remember the exact event


Would apologize if I had the guts


But I might just act even more nuts


So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath


Love turned into a wordy blood bath


 


Our passion was just too intense


I’m sure we use to be friends


It just doesn’t make any sense


Maybe this was the way it ends


 


Said some things I’m sure I meant


Don’t remember the exact event


Would apologize if I had the guts


But I might just act even more nuts


So instead we’re stuck in the aftermath


Love turned into a wordy blood bath


 


Should I forgive and forget you?


Do you even think about me at all?


Will you apologize as courtesy too?


Maybe I’m not ready for this wall to fall


*****


AM

A Christmas Prayer

Uhm, changed my mind…. I wrote this a few days before Christmas, while I was missing my family and the big Christmas parties we use to have. After my grandmother died of cancer a few years ago, our family has slowly been going our separate ways and Christmas was the last symbol of our family unity that’s starting to dissolve…

So here’s: Christmas Prayer

*****

Tear drops gently remind me

A long time ago, just a memory

We’d dance and sing and be happy

Around a sparkling Christmas tree

Together one great big family

 

Will these feelings ever subside?

Or are they as determined as the ocean tide

Tumbling about searching for a guide

Duck beneath a wave so I can hide

Just for a second I’m in control of this emotional ride

Barely floating but at least I tried

 

Tear drops gently remind me

A long time ago, just a memory

We’d dance and sing and be happy

Around a sparkling Christmas tree

Together one great big family

 

Use to be a happy thought now just grave

Lying on the dirt road they forgot to pave

Attention is not what I crave

Watching cars pass by as they wave

Stay here long enough to forget everything you gave

I’ve become merely someone to save

 

Tear drops gently remind me

A long time ago, just a memory

We’d dance and sing and be happy

Around a sparkling Christmas tree

Together one great big family

 

Our numbers are dwindling

Rather stay in my one man meeting

No one needs to know my courage is fleeting

Drown in bubbles as I’m bathing

Recapture a moment of childhood trusting

Cold water brings me back to doubting

 

Tear drops gently remind me

A long time ago, just a memory

We’d dance and sing and be happy

Around a sparkling Christmas tree

Together one great big family

 

Just trying to make it through the day

Nights are worse as I listen to what the stars say

Years later I’m starting to stray

Having trouble seeing the beauty as I pray

Give me strength to see your way

Lead me to once again see the sun’s ray

*****

Sharing my view,

AM

Do you love him? Yes, I do

Here’s the last random thing I forgot I wrote: Do you love him?

*****

Do you love him? Yes, yes I do.

It’s so not like me, this isn’t what I do. I don’t do vulnerable yet I really love you

I’m not use to staring out the wind with tears in my eyes as you drive away

I’m not the kind of person who waits to hear what others has to say

When it comes to you every rule I ever had

Flies out the window with the notepad

I’m too scared of loving you this much but the alternative of loosing you is not even an option I can stomach

I try to eat but the food doesn’t really dull how much I miss you

I can’t explain it in words or even thoughts

I can’t pretend I don’t feel it and I don’t think I can tell you

I want to say that every time you go away I want to run in front of your car and jump on the hood screaming: don’t go!

But that won’t happen… I’m too guarded and protective

I want my thoughts to stay my own and sharing is a new concept to me

I’m scattered in thoughts and lost in emotions pulling me into 68 different directions

Maybe we should talk or maybe I should just smile quietly

Will you believe what you feel when I think of you or do you need me to say it out loud?

Do you need me to take your hand and say I love you or will that split second look be enough?

Can I hold your hand tightly while you sleep jerking every time you move just to make sure you won’t leave

I missed you before you even left and I cried inside when I couldn’t reach your hand

Happiness is not a big enough word for what I feel when you are around

I feel your arms around me when you’re not there and I wonder if you feel me too?

*****

Don’t know if any of you will even understand what I meant when I wrote it but hey, if I never show you, I’ll never know…

Sharing my view,

AM

Apologize To A Dead Man

Since I’m sharing loads of things today, I thought I’d share this thing I wrote about my dad awhile ago: Apologize to a dead man

*****

Have you ever felt that it was your time to die?

Absolutely certain that the end was near

And you had to make amends, the last chance to fly

Terrified but confident, not going to show fear

 

Have you ever had to live with the mistake?

Knowing the torment you endured was his cross?

Should have helped him but were too wrapped up in yourself?

Have you ever had to apologize… to a dead man?

 

Have you ever felt that you could read their mind?

Know what everyone’s thinking, word for word

Creeping you out but loving the wisdom you find

Wavering but standing, have to pull the safety cord

 

Have you ever had to live with the mistake?

Knowing the torment you endured was his cross?

Should have helped him but were too wrapped up in yourself?

Have you ever had to apologize… to a dead man?

 

Have you ever felt like you could feel all emotion?

Felt the pain of those around you before they see

Empathy for those a million miles over the ocean

Paralyzed but healing, hug them till it kills me

 

Have you ever had to live with the mistake?

Knowing the torment you endured was his cross?

Should have helped him but were too wrapped up in yourself?

Have you ever had to apologize… to a dead man?

 

Have you ever woken up and realized it wasn’t you?

Sulking without true reason as pity triumphed

Saddened by the knowledge that you didn’t have a clue

Relieved but angry, life not lived is wasted

 

Have you ever had to live with the mistake?

Knowing the torment you endured was his cross?

Should have helped him but were too wrapped up in yourself?

Have you ever had to apologize… to a dead man?

*****

Sharing my view,

AM

Backwards Evolution

I was having a little trouble seeing the gorgeous sunset right in front of me, so sat down and wrote this: Backwards Evolution

*****

Sitting here in the garden

And I start to wonder

When did the sound of a boy playing ball become an irritation?

When did the sound of my heart beat drown out the early birds tweets?

 

Isn’t this life meant to be better?

Isn’t evolution meant to bring peace?

How did we manage to screw up nature?

Claim to uphold it but we ignore it

 

Walking on the beach

Fully dressed, can’t wait to get back to the office

When did the beauty stop being beautiful

When did the roar of the ocean fade beneath the thoughts in my head?

 

Isn’t this life meant to be better?

Isn’t evolution meant to bring peace?

How did we manage to screw up nature?

Claim to uphold it but we ignore it

 

Driving down the highway

Telephone poles and mountains all become one blur

When did a mountain shrink to the point where I can miss it?

When did the sound of the radio become the crutch I use to refuse the silence?

 

Isn’t this life meant to be better?

Isn’t evolution meant to bring peace?

How did we manage to screw up nature?

Claim to uphold it but we ignore it

 

Finally make it home

Not even the dog has enough energy to greet me

When did I become obsolete in my own life?

When did life start controlling me? Am I just the pawn?

 

Isn’t this life meant to be better?

Isn’t evolution meant to bring peace?

How did we manage to screw up nature?

Claim to uphold it but we ignore it

 

Just about to enter dreamland

A place I can control and envision a future I want

Maybe I can find inspiration or just a little bit of hope

Maybe, just maybe it’s not too late for me to be the difference

*****

Sharing my view,

AM

Consulting My Thirty Year Old Self

Just a little something I wrote while listening to P!nk’s I’m not dead album.

Thought I’d share it: Consulting my 30 year old self

*****

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

 

Look back on the kid that fell of the swing

Got back up and learned how to jump

From a little one struggling to reach the light switch-thing

To the women she’ll become

You get to look back and see it all work out

 

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

 

Look back comparing the 10 year old who cries to her dog

Learned to trust herself and fight her own battles

From the girl who wakes up terrified walking through the fog

To the women she’ll become

You get to look back and see it’s all good

 

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

 

Look back as a teenager has no time to just relax

Juggling plates like she has 20 hands

From a young adult who laughs so no one sees the fear behind the cracks

To the women she’ll become

You get to look back and see me pull through

 

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

 

Look back while a kid makes adult decisions heard in a fable

Speaking words of wisdom that force elders to listen

From a minor who has learned to be brave and vulnerable

To the women she’ll become

You get to look back and see us reclaim me

 

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

 

Look back to now where I sit here thinking of the you I haven’t met

Wondering where I go from here and how long it’ll take

From a women in training who’s not quite there yet

To the women she’ll become

You get to look back and see your younger me

 

Don’t forget now; remember the person you use to be

All the things you fought for, the things you dreamed you’ll be

I don’t know you yet but if you’re anything like me

All your dreams will most definitely be reality

Even failures by others standards make you happy

For you’ve lived your life fully

*****

« Previous entries