Posts Tagged ‘SIAD’

A friend of ours died before we had a chance to meet her

A friend of ours died before we had a chance to meet her… You’re probably re-reading that sentence to try to make sense of it and to be honest it’s been 4 months and we’re still having trouble making sense of it too.

Let me explain: her name is Lacey Crawford. I met her on Twitter through some of my amazing friends there including Chrisselle and Hammy. Twitter is an amazing place because everyone is equal! There is no age barrier or cultural divides, the only thing that defines you is your manners and your opinions. So we all started talking because we had one simple thing in common, generally that would be the same free time. If you’re wondering how I can call people my friends even though I have never shook their hand, then you really don’t understand the concept of twitter.

Yes, it is a social media site but it is so much more than that. It is a place where you can practically run your own news network and talk to people experiencing history in the making as it happens! It is a place where there is always someone awake and willing to talk or listen. Most of us first turned to twitter purely out of curiosity or maybe a bit of boredom but we all stayed because while we were exploring the world at our fingertips, we discovered that someone on the other side of the world understood us; faced the same problems we did and believed in the same things we believe in.

I didn’t know Lacey as well as I would have liked to… I don’t think anyone really got the chance to see everything she had to offer this world. Sadly she felt so desperate for a change that she could not figure out how to make, that she chose suicide.

There is no way I can even pretend to try and explain what she was thinking or defend her reasons for feeling that taking her own life was her only option. All I can do is remember the conversations we shared and the short time it took for us to connect. I’m also supporting her friends who are recording songs to honour her memory. The other thing I have found great comfort in is the Don’t Lose Your Grip project that Chrisselle has initiated to help prevent others from having to suffer the same type of loss we are trying to deal with.

Basically this project is not just designed to raise money for suicide help lines; it’s also there to help us fight the causes behind it. People don’t just commit suicide… it is not that simple. Generally it is a series of events that lead to that one moment when they just feel so numb they can’t help but give up. Chrisselle has always been one of those people who’ll reach out to anyone having an off day. She is still doing this but now she’s trying to do it on a bigger scale too. She’s organizing a charity concert that will help raise awareness and much needed funding for suicide help lines so that they can help more people. Another aim with this project is to change the stigma around suicide. It is not something we should ignore or sweep under the carpet; it is a real problem that won’t just go away. We need to talk about it and we need to start reaching out to the people in our lives again!

One of the main causes resulting in suicide is low self-esteem. We have trouble believing in ourselves and quite frankly I’m not surprised. Just look around you or turn on the TV and most of the time you’ll see this image of ‘normal’ being portrayed and this image the world is describing is not something we can actually live up to. Normal is not a word anyone has ever used to describe me and personally I take it as a compliment. I can honestly say that I have never felt the need to be on a diet, although when I was diagnosed with this liver thing, I did go on a total health kick and refused to drink anything with bubbles in it but that was more pain-oriented than actual food-oriented. Yet, my oldest friend was on a diet when she was only 12 years old and so was one of my little cousins who are only turning 13 this year. We live in a world where kids are being made fun of for the things they wear and the shape of their bodies to the extent that eating disorders are becoming ‘normal’. Calling kids names and making them feel like they are worthless has become part of everyday life! And we call this evolution? Think again!

We can have all the right intentions but until we actually stand up and say: “Love your body the way it is! Love yourself for who you are! And you are perfect in your own right!” we won’t have a shot at living peacefully. There is so much hatred in this world of ours and all we are doing is spreading it! You need to open your eyes and realize that you are killing our kids; you are killing yourself and all the people you love with these judgements. Sadly Lacey was just one out of millions of people who felt they were out of options; who felt that the world would never accept them and that they could never fit in. So I am begging you: for all the people you may know who have ever had even a single thought resembling this helplessness and all the people who’ll need someone to tell them they are not worthless in the future, please support Don’t Lose Your Grip.

There are many symptoms of depression and alienation: it could be cutting yourself off from the world or literally cutting yourself and resorting to self harm in order to feel something ‘real’; something to make you forget that there are mean, hateful people out there. Well I don’t want you to forget. I want to help you change those people’s minds. I want to help you realize your full potential and for me the best way to do that is to talk so [in the words of the amazing Alecia Beth Moore] if you ever feel less than fuckin’ perfect, just call me. It’s really easy to reach me on twitter so just come and hang out and talk to us, we’d love to get to know you! The best thing about social media is that we get to see the real you and we are most definitely not blinded by the silly things the rest of the world is looking at.

If you have ever had a moment when it felt like life has gotten you down, then please get involved with Don’t Lose Your Grip! And don’t even try to pretend that you’ve never felt overwhelmed: we’re all in this fight together.


Also if you need help dealing with Self Harm please visit TWLOHA